7 differences between a healthy relationship and a neurotic one

We all love the sweet and bouquetal period, which is the starting point of a romantic relationship. The constant attention, care, declarations of love and much more are literally uplifting, make you believe in magic and fill you with happiness. But there is a hidden danger in all this.

Staying in a state of euphoria, lovers often idealize the “object of adoration” and turn a blind eye to its real qualities. But fortunately, such mishaps do not always occur. Moreover, they can often be prevented altogether. For this is enough to work on himself and clearly understand what is required from a potential partner.

What is a co-dependent relationship?

All of us have formed in the head of certain attitudes and directives that we follow, and often even unconsciously. They are formed since childhood, when we observe the behavior of people around us, especially in the family. This develops a certain pattern of behaviour that is acceptable to each individual.

When we meet someone and compare their behaviour with the model we have developed, it is knowingly a false path. Even worse is when we try to “remake” a potential partner to suit us. This means that there is a desire to be with a certain image that we have made up for ourselves rather than with a real person. The result of such decisions is co-dependency, where one partner is in complete control of the other.

Signs of a mature relationship

When we talk about maturity, there are no such things as jealousy, control or patronage. Relationships are built on mutual respect, partnership, and the ability to dialogue. A mature relationship can be defined by 7 attributes.

1. Stability of feelings.

Partners in a mature relationship don’t experience emotional swings. Naturally, fluctuations are present, because it is inherent to human beings. But from love to hate and vice versa doesn’t happen here.

2. Motivation and Resource

If there is harmony and adequacy in the couple, each partner has a desire and motivation to develop, to work on themselves and their life together, to strive to improve. No manipulation or “stick in the wheels” is done in terms of the partner, only support and assistance.

3. Conflict resolution

Often conflicts are accompanied by an “emotional storm” during which, apart from shouting and doing something else, nothing else happens. In a mature relationship this may happen in the first stage, but it does not last long. Then the partners start to talk to each other and deal with the problem.

4. Trust

Moderate jealousy and control sometimes makes the partner feel needed, wanted. But trust is more important. In a mature relationship, it shows in everything, not just the sexual fidelity part.

5. Health

Psychological problems, internal frustrations and fears may manifest themselves in physical state. Suppressed emotions may cause tiredness, apathy or even illness. When partners are comfortable with each other, there are no such problems.

6. Passion

Do not forget to periodically add some “spice” to living together. This may be games, mild jealousy, flirting. Timely “shaking” allows you to brighten up the relationship, refresh it.

7. Ease

Both partners should experience freedom and lightness when they are together. If at least one of them feels depressed, difficult or uncomfortable, either the problem should be identified and solved together, continuing to work on the relationship, or the relationship should be terminated.